There’s a phrase I’ve never quite understood: ageing gracefully. It sounds terribly polite, a bit like being told to sit quietly, don’t make a fuss and try not to break anything. But spend any amount of time around people in their 50s, 60s, 70s and 80s and you quickly realise there’s not much graceful about it.
People are starting businesses, falling in love, travelling, learning to paint, riding bikes, dancing, renovating houses, looking after grandchildren, going back to work, leaving work and learning things they never had time for when they were younger. And occasionally doing things their children think are completely mad.
Perhaps that’s a healthier way to look at getting older. Not as a slow retreat from life, but as a time when you get a little more say in how you spend it.
Spring seems like a good time to have a go. Here on the islands, we have an advantage. We don’t have to look very far to find something that gets us out of the house. There’s the pool on Russell, the swimming enclosures around the islands and plenty of opportunities to get moving without turning it into a military exercise. A walk to the shops counts, gardening counts, walking the dog counts, climbing the stairs instead of taking the easy option counts, putting some music on and dancing around the kitchen absolutely counts.
And if you want something more structured, there are classes and activities happening across the islands, including yoga and Pilates with Jodie at Kevala Health and Fitness.
Jodie sees people at very different stages of life and says the conversation around exercise changes in our later years.
“As we get older, exercise becomes less about how we look and more about how we want to live. We want the strength to get up off the floor, carry the shopping, keep our balance, and continue doing the things we enjoy,” Jodie explains.
“You don’t have to be the strongest or the most flexible person in the room. Staying active is about keeping your confidence, your independence, and that feeling that your body can still take you where you want to go.”
That confidence is worth hanging on to. Being able to get down on the floor and get back up again is useful. So is being able to carry your shopping, step off a boat, negotiate an uneven footpath or climb a few stairs without giving it too much thought. And no, that doesn’t necessarily mean joining a gym. There are plenty of ways to build strength and movement into ordinary life.
But here’s the bit that often gets missed when we talk about healthy ageing. Your body isn’t the whole story. You need to give your brain something to do as well. You need people, things to look forward to, a reason to get dressed and leave the house, and something that makes you curious.
That might be an art class. It might be learning something new. It might be a workshop, music, photography or finally having a go at something you’ve been saying you’ll do for years. There are also sound healing sessions and other activities around the islands that might appeal to people who don’t necessarily think of themselves as “fitness people”.
And why not? Health isn’t just about how far you can walk. Sometimes it’s about whether you feel connected to the people around you. Sometimes it’s about having somewhere to go on a Tuesday morning. Sometimes it’s about sitting in a room with other people and making something with your hands, and sometimes it’s simply about having a laugh over a game of canasta.
And men, we’re talking to you too. There is a tendency to package this stuff as something for women. Yoga, Pilates, wellness and workshops. Some men hear those words and immediately develop an urgent need to clean the shed. But men need to keep moving, too. They need strength and balance, friends, things to do when work finishes or the kids have left home. They need somewhere to go that isn’t the doctor’s surgery or the pub.
The new 30? I’m not sure I’d go as far as saying 70 is the new 30. Your knees would definitely have a different opinion. But there is something to the idea that the old milestones don’t necessarily mean what they used to. Turning 50 doesn’t mean you’re old and neither does 60. At 70, there may still be plenty of firsts ahead of you, and at 80, you are certainly not required to become beige.
Perhaps the real luxury of getting older is knowing yourself a little better. You know what you like, you know what you don’t like, and you may have stopped worrying quite so much about impressing people. You might even have reached the stage where you can say, “No thanks, I don’t want to do that,” without spending three days feeling guilty about it. That’s progress.
So perhaps this spring isn’t about embarking on some heroic new health regime. Perhaps it’s about making just one small change. Try the class, take the walk, go to the art group, get back in the water, learn something, ring someone you haven’t seen for a while, or try something you’ve always thought wasn’t “for people your age”. You might surprise yourself.
Because getting older is going to happen whether we like it or not. The interesting part is what we do with it. And if your 50s, 60s, 70s or 80s happen to be some of the most interesting years you’ve had so far, that doesn’t sound much like ageing gracefully.
It sounds more like living.
